


about her

by kizzie



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Ficlet, M/M, Miscommunication, The Six Thatchers, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-02
Updated: 2017-01-02
Packaged: 2018-09-14 08:17:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9170416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kizzie/pseuds/kizzie
Summary: There were so many things John wanted to say, but knew he never could. He chose Mary, and he couldn't leave now.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This takes place during The Six Thatchers between the time when Mary left and Sherlock and John came to get her. :( save them

The house felt stale, hollow in a way that couldn't be easily fixed.  _ I will return, my love.  _ It felt so selfish, John thought, for Mary to have packed up and abandoned her own husband and daughter to run around the world by herself. Mary didn't seem to be very good at living the life without secrets that she said she wanted.

John took a deep breath through his nose, fists clenched.

“John,” said Sherlock. His fingertips moved at his sides like he wanted to reach out and comfort the broken man sitting in front of him, but there was nothing left to say. It made John’s heart ache, that Sherlock was afraid John would reject his attempt at emotional support. John knew he could be terrifying when he was angry.

So instead, Sherlock added with certainty: “We  _ will _ find her.”

“Yeah,” John snapped. “And then what?” He hadn't meant to sound so angry. He couldn't help but feel like his dissatisfaction with his own life was all Sherlock’s fault somehow, but that wasn't fair. Sherlock wasn't necessarily considerate, but he was  _ trying. _

Then again, life wasn't fair, and Sherlock should learn not to make promises he can't keep.

“After that, we’ll go back to London,” Sherlock said, “and I'll keep you both safe.”

“She lied to me,” John muttered. “Again and again. And it's not just us now.” He gestured up the stairs to where the nursery was, Rosie fast asleep in her crib.

“I know. John, I’m… I’m so sorry. If there's anything else I can do, tell me,” Sherlock said, eyes honest, and what looked almost a bit sad, but no, that couldn't be right. “I vowed to protect all of it. Your marriage, your family, your daughter. You all deserve to be happy.”

There were so many things John wanted to say.  _ I’m not happy here. Let's start over. I miss when it was just the two of us. _

_ I love you. _

It would be cruel to say these things now, though. John never claimed to be a good man, but he couldn't do that. It would hurt both of them too much, and like John said: it's not just them now. John had a wife and a daughter to think about, and it was too late to try to undo what had already been done. He chose Mary, and he couldn't leave now.

So instead, he straightened up and looked Sherlock in the eyes. “Tell me about her,” John said with determination, swallowing his desires. “Tell me who she used to be. And then… let's go get her back.”


End file.
